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Username Post: Guy Fieri's American Kitchen        (Topic#537833)
Kimble29
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11-14-12 04:16 PM - Post#1485563    



Nice review of his new digs in Times Square!

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/14/dining/rev iews/r...




GUY FIERI, have you eaten at your new restaurant in Times Square? Have you pulled up one of the 500 seats at Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar and ordered a meal? Did you eat the food? Did it live up to your expectations?

Did panic grip your soul as you stared into the whirling hypno wheel of the menu, where adjectives and nouns spin in a crazy vortex? When you saw the burger described as “Guy’s Pat LaFrieda custom blend, all-natural Creekstone Farm Black Angus beef patty, LTOP (lettuce, tomato, onion + pickle), SMC (super-melty-cheese) and a slathering of Donkey Sauce on garlic-buttered brioche,” did your mind touch the void for a minute?

Did you notice that the menu was an unreliable predictor of what actually came to the table? Were the “bourbon butter crunch chips” missing from your Almond Joy cocktail, too? Was your deep-fried “boulder” of ice cream the size of a standard scoop?

What exactly about a small salad with four or five miniature croutons makes Guy’s Famous Big Bite Caesar (a) big (b) famous or (c) Guy’s, in any meaningful sense?

Were you struck by how very far from awesome the Awesome Pretzel Chicken Tenders are? If you hadn’t come up with the recipe yourself, would you ever guess that the shiny tissue of breading that exudes grease onto the plate contains either pretzels or smoked almonds? Did you discern any buttermilk or brine in the white meat, or did you think it tasted like chewy air?

Why is one of the few things on your menu that can be eaten without fear or regret — a lunch-only sandwich of chopped soy-glazed pork with coleslaw and cucumbers — called a Roasted Pork Bahn Mi, when it resembles that item about as much as you resemble Emily Dickinson?

When you have a second, Mr. Fieri, would you see what happened to the black bean and roasted squash soup we ordered?

Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?

At your five Johnny Garlic’s restaurants in California, if servers arrive with main courses and find that the appetizers haven’t been cleared yet, do they try to find space for the new plates next to the dirty ones? Or does that just happen in Times Square, where people are used to crowding?

If a customer shows up with a reservation at one of your two Tex Wasabi’s outlets, and the rest of the party has already been seated, does the host say, “Why don’t you have a look around and see if you can find them?” and point in the general direction of about 200 seats?

What is going on at this new restaurant of yours, really?

Has anyone ever told you that your high-wattage passion for no-collar American food makes you television’s answer to Calvin Trillin, if Mr. Trillin bleached his hair, drove a Camaro and drank Boozy Creamsicles? When you cruise around the country for your show “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives,” rasping out slangy odes to the unfancy places where Americans like to get down and greasy, do you really mean it?

Or is it all an act? Is that why the kind of cooking you celebrate on television is treated with so little respect at Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar?

How, for example, did Rhode Island’s supremely unhealthy and awesomely good fried calamari — dressed with garlic butter and pickled hot peppers — end up in your restaurant as a plate of pale, unsalted squid rings next to a dish of sweet mayonnaise with a distant rumor of spice?

How did Louisiana’s blackened, Cajun-spiced treatment turn into the ghostly nubs of unblackened, unspiced white meat in your Cajun Chicken Alfredo?

How did nachos, one of the hardest dishes in the American canon to mess up, turn out so deeply unlovable? Why augment tortilla chips with fried lasagna noodles that taste like nothing except oil? Why not bury those chips under a properly hot and filling layer of melted cheese and jalapeños instead of dribbling them with thin needles of pepperoni and cold gray clots of ground turkey?

By the way, would you let our server know that when we asked for chai, he brought us a cup of hot water?

When you hung that sign by the entrance that says, WELCOME TO FLAVOR TOWN!, were you just messing with our heads?

Does this make it sound as if everything at Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar is inedible? I didn’t say that, did I?

Tell me, though, why does your kitchen sabotage even its more appealing main courses with ruinous sides and sauces? Why stifle a pretty good bison meatloaf in a sugary brown glaze with no undertow of acid or spice? Why send a serviceable herb-stuffed rotisserie chicken to the table in the company of your insipid Rice-a-Roni variant?

Why undermine a big fist of slow-roasted pork shank, which might fly in many downtown restaurants if the General Tso’s-style sauce were a notch less sweet, with randomly shaped scraps of carrot that combine a tough, nearly raw crunch with the deadened, overcooked taste of school cafeteria vegetables?

Is this how you roll in Flavor Town?

Somewhere within the yawning, three-level interior of Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar, is there a long refrigerated tunnel that servers have to pass through to make sure that the French fries, already limp and oil-sogged, are also served cold?

What accounts for the vast difference between the Donkey Sauce recipe you’ve published and the Donkey Sauce in your restaurant? Why has the hearty, rustic appeal of roasted-garlic mayonnaise been replaced by something that tastes like Miracle Whip with minced raw garlic?

And when we hear the words Donkey Sauce, which part of the donkey are we supposed to think about?

Is the entire restaurant a very expensive piece of conceptual art? Is the shapeless, structureless baked alaska that droops and slumps and collapses while you eat it, or don’t eat it, supposed to be a representation in sugar and eggs of the experience of going insane?

Why did the toasted marshmallow taste like fish?

Did you finish that blue drink?

Oh, and we never got our Vegas fries; would you mind telling the kitchen that we don’t need them?

Thanks.

Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar

POOR

220 West 44th Street (Seventh Avenue), (646) 532-4897, guysamerican.com.

ATMOSPHERE 500 seats, three levels, three bars, one chaotic mess.

SERVICE The well-meaning staff seems to realize that this is not a real restaurant.

SOUND LEVEL Rawk and roll, but at moderate volumes.

RECOMMENDED Roasted Pork Bahn Mi, General Tso’s Crispy Pork Shank, Cedar Plank Salmon with Jalapeño Apricot Jam.

DRINKS AND WINE Margaritas, while too sweet and strong, are the best cocktails. Draft beers are better than the largely dull wines.

PRICES Soups, salads and appetizers, $8.95 to $16.50; sandwiches, pastas and main courses, $16.95 to $31.50.

HOURS Sunday to Wednesday, 11:30 a.m. to midnight; Thursday to Saturday, 11:30 a.m. to 1 a.m.

RESERVATIONS Accepted.

WHEELCHAIR ACCESS The bar area and an accessible restroom are on street level.

WHAT THE STARS MEAN Ratings range from zero to four stars and reflect the reviewer’s reaction primarily to food, with ambience, service and price taken into consideration.




Edited by Kimble29 on 11-14-12 04:16 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.
 
Panzerrat
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11-14-12 04:53 PM - Post#1485573    


    In response to Kimble29

The chefs at my culinary school think that Fieri is a clown of the highest order. He also gets bonus fail points for wearing sunglasses on the back of his head at the age of fifty, too.
"You call this bad? I'll tell you what bad is....Bad is passing test depth at 80 feet per second with a thirty degree down bubble. Compared to that, this is a walk in the park."



 
Mike
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11-14-12 05:05 PM - Post#1485578    


    In response to Panzerrat

You are going to culinary school?

Chefs by and large seem to hate Fieri.


 
Panzerrat
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11-14-12 07:33 PM - Post#1485601    


    In response to Mike

Yes, I'm burning my GI bill at the Art Institute of Colorado International Culinary School.
"You call this bad? I'll tell you what bad is....Bad is passing test depth at 80 feet per second with a thirty degree down bubble. Compared to that, this is a walk in the park."



 
mtnbiker
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11-14-12 09:09 PM - Post#1485615    


    In response to Panzerrat

Fieri is a clown. I don't get his popularity, but then again I don't get Honey Boo Boo.
"This ends tonight!"
"It's daytime you douche."



 
Mike
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11-15-12 07:43 AM - Post#1485647    


    In response to mtnbiker

Anthony Bourdain thinks Fieri is awful and I was surprised at that Bourdain NYC roast in October, Guy was one of the roasters. Fieri did lay into Bourdain pretty good, something about calling Bourdain "a snaggle-tooth lurch-looking mother fucker".

This female comedian was just killing everyone. She said something about how Fieri wears his glasses backwards so people wont recognize him and punch him in the face.

And believe it or not, Rachel Ray (another victim of constant Bourdain bashing) was also roasting, and made some funny joke about Mario Batali where she said something like (and I couldnt believe it came from her), "the best thing about giving Batali a BJ was he can pull a scrunchy from his hair to keep your hair held back"


 
Kimble29
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11-15-12 09:10 AM - Post#1485669    


    In response to mtnbiker

  • mtnbiker Said:
Fieri is a clown. I don't get his popularity, but then again I don't get Honey Boo Boo.



Say it ain't so! Ya'll don't git the honey boo boo? Mebbe ya'll shuld eet up sum o dat honey boo boo 'sketti. It is goooo-ooood!


 
Tim-
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11-15-12 02:15 PM - Post#1485755    


    In response to Mike

  • Mike Said:
Anthony Bourdain thinks Fieri is awful and I was surprised at that Bourdain NYC roast in October, Guy was one of the roasters. Fieri did lay into Bourdain pretty good, something about calling Bourdain "a snaggle-tooth lurch-looking mother fucker".

This female comedian was just killing everyone. She said something about how Fieri wears his glasses backwards so people wont recognize him and punch him in the face.

And believe it or not, Rachel Ray (another victim of constant Bourdain bashing) was also roasting, and made some funny joke about Mario Batali where she said something like (and I couldnt believe it came from her), "the best thing about giving Batali a BJ was he can pull a scrunchy from his hair to keep your hair held back"



That's fucking hilarious. Do you have a link to the roast?
"It is not our fault that the world is bad, and we do not want to die changing it. We want to live- that is all."

-Tadeusz Borowski


 
Kimble29
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11-15-12 02:40 PM - Post#1485767    


    In response to Tim-

Tim, here ya go:

http://newyork.grubstreet.com/2012/10/anthony-bour...


 
Tim-
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11-15-12 03:23 PM - Post#1485785    


    In response to Kimble29

Thanks Kimble.
"It is not our fault that the world is bad, and we do not want to die changing it. We want to live- that is all."

-Tadeusz Borowski


 
Fotiu
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11-15-12 07:34 PM - Post#1485887    


    In response to Tim-

One of the greatest savage reviews ever. I've read at least a dozen articles about the review itself, LOL.
Is Roy Innis gonna have to choke a bitch?!


 
Tim-
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11-22-12 03:13 PM - Post#1487691    


    In response to Fotiu

I can't watch the video here in Germany, but here ya go: http://www.enstarz.com/articles/9563/2012112 0/fier...
"It is not our fault that the world is bad, and we do not want to die changing it. We want to live- that is all."

-Tadeusz Borowski


 
Cotton
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11-22-12 06:32 PM - Post#1487716    


    In response to Tim-

Welcome to Flavortown.
"No man in the wrong can stand up against a fellow that's in the right an keeps on a-comin."
-creed of Texas Ranger Captain W. J. McDonald




 
Huard28
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11-24-12 12:59 AM - Post#1487904    


    In response to Cotton

OK so he's not a trained chef, or a chef at all. He's a restaurant owner, and cooked in restaurants when he was younger etc., and came to fame for his personality on TV. I respect that. I don't think he's claiming to be a chef or anything of upper echelon in comparison to a real chef.

I think he has done well for himself, easily has, and his restaurants are fun trendy places that aren't aiming to put out top notch cuisine.

Who doesn't like "Diner's Drive-In's and Dives"?? Its an addicting show, and I do own his books based on the show/recipes.

I did like his previous show though when he actually cooked out of his rec room kitchen set-up. It's too bad that show is gone. He was pretty good with some Asian flavor in his cooking, kind of like how I cook, so I found common ground there.

So I like him, and respect what he's doing and he's made a lot of money so far, and only 44 years old, so he's got some years left to make even more. So don't think he should be bashed by anyone really.
"I never participate in the game anymore. It doesn't work. I am too bad. I only fight". - Link Gaetz


 
Tim-
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11-24-12 07:12 AM - Post#1487919    


    In response to Huard28

He's a dick.
"It is not our fault that the world is bad, and we do not want to die changing it. We want to live- that is all."

-Tadeusz Borowski


 
Panzerrat
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11-24-12 11:50 AM - Post#1487960    


    In response to Tim-

You put yourself in a public forum, you're setting yourself up to be abused.
"You call this bad? I'll tell you what bad is....Bad is passing test depth at 80 feet per second with a thirty degree down bubble. Compared to that, this is a walk in the park."



 
Mike
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11-24-12 03:32 PM - Post#1487985    


    In response to Panzerrat

I have no problem with Guy Fieri. I dont look at him as a real chef nor am I in any hurry to eat at one of his restaurants but I do enjoy his show "Triple D" and I even like his cooking show. He makes dishes that are typically savory and flavorful.

Yes, I think his "look" is silly. Maybe worse than that. But I am sort of past it at this point. My gut reaction the first time I saw him was that I hated him. But once I got used to the clothes and hair, wannabe Smashmouth persona, I was fine with it.

I personally think most of the chefs really dont like Fieri out of jealousy. Even Bourdain acknowledged Fieri is supposed to be a good guy. I think it annoys classically trained chefs who have 100x more talent in the kitchen to see someone in their profession making 100x their income. So thats the bottomline. There are literally hundreds (probably more) of line cooks and sous chefs in NYC making shit money that are infinitely more talented at cooking than Fieri, Rachel Ray, and Sandra Lee. So to those types who work like dogs and see the success and wealth of the Food Network crew (not all of them obviously- Flay is a real chef) without even having any real cooking talent, probably chaps their ass. To that I say, tough shit. The Food Network is tv first, cooking 2nd. They have to put people on camera that want to make tv and are good in that format. Food Network started a 2nd network (The Cooking Channel) that is more food focused with some real chefs and their shows, including Michael Symon (who is absolutely the real deal). Someone made a joke in the Bourdain roast about Eric Ripert's TV show being horrible. Ripert has like jedi cooking schools but his show is rough to watch because he has zero personality.

As for Tim's comment about Guy being a dick. I dont know. I met him at a Judas Priest concert in San Diego and my friend said hello to him and he seemed cool. I have spoke to the guy that owns Blue Water Seafood in San Diego, and he said that Triple D episode put him on the map and he loves Fieri. Then I have read other stories from people who have had dealings with him that sounded less than pleasant with Fieri acting like a spoiled twat. I think he's a pretty big drinker, so my guess is the drink and the douchiness factor go hand in hand.


 
Tim-
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11-24-12 04:26 PM - Post#1487994    


    In response to Mike

I don't think his "look" is for tv. I think it was crafted before he won NFNS. He comes off as a cocky prick. I'm sure he's nice in person though - most happy people are - but I've read quite a few things about him being a dick.

I don't know if it's jealousy with him. He is a restauranteur and most guys know that.

Someone like Ray, the chefs hate for a million reasons, probably largely because she doesn't tip. Bourdain was in Charleston, SC (I think, don't quote me) and went to a restaurant that she went to, and the waiter who also waited on her said she tipped 10%. No wonder she could eat for $40 a day.

I also don't think sous chefs make shit money. The last restaurant I worked at, the sous chef was a manager with safe keys and was part of the bonus system.

Regarding the Cooking Channel, I really like Everyday Exotic. Roger Mooking seems really corny and overbearing at times with his image on the show, but he food looks really amazing and it's great to see Americans exposed to new foods that we might not otherwise hear of, despite being readily available in most major cities.

Food Network used to be about chefs. Ming Tsai, Wolfgang Puck, Mario Batali, Cat Cora, Jamie Oliver, Emeril all hosted shows. Anne Burrell is a newer personality and is a really good chef from what I've heard.
"It is not our fault that the world is bad, and we do not want to die changing it. We want to live- that is all."

-Tadeusz Borowski


 
Mike
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11-24-12 04:29 PM - Post#1487995    


    In response to Tim-

When I say sous chefs salaries I mean relative to living in NYC and comparing themselves to the Guy Fieri's of the world.

Most of Bourdain's criticism of Rachel Ray and Sandra Lee is about their cooking. That's the main complaint. Guy Fieri is all about looking like a douche and speaking with his vernacular of silly and stupid expressions. The Black Keys made fun of Guy Fieri on No Reservations for the same thing. And not jealous? Guy Fieri is the #1 star on the food network. He makes a shitload of money per year, more than just about any chef in the US today (other than a handful of celebrity chefs). Of course they are jealous that a guy they consider a major putz ears so much more than them.


 
Tim-
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11-24-12 04:32 PM - Post#1487997    


    In response to Mike

Understood.

When were The Black Keys on NR? That's awesome. I'm a big fan of those guys.

Maybe Bourdain's biggest complaint about Ray is her cooking, but he really made her look like a goof with the tipping thing. Shit like that has no place among "chefs".
"It is not our fault that the world is bad, and we do not want to die changing it. We want to live- that is all."

-Tadeusz Borowski


 
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