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Username Post: Turd Burglar Defined (plus story)        (Topic#538931)
Mike
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02-22-13 10:43 AM - Post#1513597    



I took my kids to this magic show last weekend and my older son was sitting with a bunch of his friends in front of us. They were sitting behind this hayseed Indiana couple and their 3 daughters, the guy was wearing his ballcap and hunting jacket at a school sponsored event. Anyways, my son and his friends were yelling out stuff and just being loud and Joe Sporty Nuts in front of them was getting really annoyed and asking them to keep it down.

I guess my son yelled out at the magician, and called him a "turd burglar". More than once apparantly. So I can hear the hunter Dad turn around, visibly annoyed, and he sounds almost like Hank Hill, and says "hey fella. Please dont use words like turd burglar in front of my girls". So my wife was really embarassed and I told my son to keep it down and actually ended up moving him from his row into ours. And then my wife lays into me that I taught him the word turd burglar because no other kid would say that (meaning, 2nd graders). I vehemently denied it. And I suddenly remembered, in "Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules", one of the kids calls the other a turd burglar. So I brought that up to my wife, but she doesnt believe me.

So I just looked up under Urban Dictionary, "Turd Burglar" and got back the following definitions (kinda funny actually):

"1. Turd Burglar

When you finally find an empty public restroom for a dump so massive that it requires complete solitude for the deposit....and then someone walks in.(especially at your office/work place)

Just as I was about to 'release the beast', some turd buglar entered the bathroom causing my sphincter to snap shut!

2. Turd Burglar

In Quebec, the thief who follows the first burglar and the second burglar.

We arrested de first two burglars, but de turd burglar got away.

3. Turd Burglar

yet another word for gay men

jeez joe is a turd burglar!!"


 
Peat
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02-22-13 12:27 PM - Post#1513641    


    In response to Mike

 
Mike
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02-22-13 12:29 PM - Post#1513642    


    In response to Peat

that's awesome. More evidence to show to my lady.


 
Peat
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02-22-13 01:05 PM - Post#1513659    


    In response to Mike

It's also a "trophy" you can earn on Duke Nukem Forever. Good times....
 
BlockerBrothers
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02-22-13 03:41 PM - Post#1513723    


    In response to Peat

Everything that my kids do that is wrong, is my fault. Everything they do right, my wife takes the credit for. I don't even fight it anymore.

Can't say as I have ever used Turd Burglar but my kids both throw around peckerhead which they definitely got from me as I have been using that one for as long as I can remember with decent frequency.

Edited by BlockerBrothers on 02-22-13 03:44 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.
 
Peatycap
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02-22-13 03:45 PM - Post#1513725    


    In response to BlockerBrothers

Always thought it was a derogatory homosexual term.


 
Mike
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02-22-13 03:48 PM - Post#1513726    


    In response to BlockerBrothers

Yeah, I agree, but in this case, I didnt tell my kids about turd burglar. And as I mentioned with that kids movie where the word is used, I found the proof and showed it to my wife already:

http://www.screenit.com/movies/2010/diary_of_ a_wim...

from the article:
"A boy refers to another as a "turd burglar" (not meant literally)."

I remember when I saw that movie with my son I laughed at that line, and he asked me what it meant and I said it meant someone that steals other people's turds, and it was a bad word and dumb. Of course, he used it in public, but that's not my fault.


 
glockman30
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02-22-13 08:24 PM - Post#1513809    


    In response to Mike

If my 16 year old son farts it is still my fault. I couldn't deny I laughed pretty hard when a car pulled out in front of my wife a few days ago and my son called the driver a butt jammer. I had no one to blame that on but myself. Makes a Dad proud.
You can easily judge the character of a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him.
- General Wayne Downing


 
ChiBoyinLA
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02-22-13 08:40 PM - Post#1513814    


    In response to Mike

I always thought that THIS was a turd burglar: http://www.reuters.com/article/2008/06/27/us -manur...
"It's what you learn after you know it all that counts." -- John Wooden


 
taz
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02-22-13 09:41 PM - Post#1513829    


    In response to ChiBoyinLA

Pretty sure turd burglar is another name for a Cubz fan.
Large Screen Laptop...$600
Internet Service...$50
Reading Johnz's inane homer posts...Priceless


 
Tim-
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02-23-13 03:01 AM - Post#1513880    


    In response to taz

Glockman that's fucking awesome.

Mike, the second definition is the best. LOL
"It is not our fault that the world is bad, and we do not want to die changing it. We want to live- that is all."

-Tadeusz Borowski


 
PuckRogue
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02-23-13 07:40 AM - Post#1513895    


    In response to Tim-

Totally agree. #2 cracked me up.

-PR
Bee-dee Bee-dee Bee-dee


 
slickpuck
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02-24-13 07:39 PM - Post#1514492    


    In response to PuckRogue

There was a plumbing company in town whose motto was "Your shit is our bread and butter".
RIP #40



 
PuckRogue
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02-24-13 07:58 PM - Post#1514497    


    In response to slickpuck

That's nasty, ya'll...

-PR
Bee-dee Bee-dee Bee-dee


 
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